I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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