Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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