Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
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