I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
