I am puke
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
