So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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