The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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