how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
