I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
