There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
