how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
