you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
