Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
