Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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