I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
