it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
