My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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