dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Randomize
