I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
