just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
