I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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