I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
