you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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