What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
