I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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