I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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