I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i will never coherently bang her
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
