I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
