Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It's official drugs can't kill me
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
