lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize