its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
