True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
where am i from again
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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