You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Randomize
