How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize