Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
