I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
