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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
