he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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