friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Never underestimate the power of titties
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
