They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
