Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
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