Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she told me i tasted like america
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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