I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
