i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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