I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We are all done wearing pants today
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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