So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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