im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
