i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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