go do what you do best...puke behind churches
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
