just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
