I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
