That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
