Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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