i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
