My nipple is on Facebook.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
