So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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