Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
