I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Michael Bay diarrhea
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
