I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
