you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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