Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
