Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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