i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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