he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
