i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
