Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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