just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
