Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
