We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
