i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
