It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
