I have demons in me.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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