Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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