Where is the hickey?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
it glows. i had to have it.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Randomize
