let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
